Grace, Guilt, & Navigating Life's Disappointments

The reality of our human condition is embedded imperfection, the presence of sin, and the inevitability of facing various disappointments in life. Such disappointments often register at a deep emotional level and may take the form of a business failure, the end of a marriage, being too firm with our children and blowing situations out of proportion, taking a seemingly endless amount of time to determine the next move in our career, experiencing the loss of connection with a good friend, and allowing ourselves to be tempted into sinful behaviors that greatly affect us emotionally, spiritually, and relationally.

These and other situations can send us spiraling into places of guilt, self-loathing, despondency, and depression if not managed carefully. They can also derail our ability to have the motivation needed to continue moving forward without viewing ourselves in a negative light. What does Scripture say about these things, and does it present a better way to move forward? I believe so, and would like to address what I mean by directing our attention to Romans 6:12-14:

“Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts, and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace.”

These verses of Scripture highlight the potential for us to sin, to mess things up in life, while acknowledging than in spite of doing so we have the God-given grace and ability to change and venture down a path of righteousness. This doesn’t mean we’re excused from doing the work necessary to ensure we aren’t consistently repeating unhealthy patterns in our lives. There is no escape in that sense. However, God provides the grace necessary to engage the process of change over time.

Regarding disappointments, they will come, and our readiness to face them with courage and grace is not contingent upon reaching some level of perfection. Therefore, let’s remove the pressure of perfection altogether, and recognize only God himself is perfect, and our human condition is such that we will never be while on this earth. It’s unrealistic to think we will somehow have everything all figured out.

That being said, we must decide how we will face those disappointments. We can maintain an idealistic view of how things “should” be, and keep our heads buried in a mound of guilt when faced with personal or situational imperfections. Or, we can enter a place of humility, acknowledge those imperfections and our unending need for the grace of God, and courageously hold our heads up so we don’t lose sight of the ongoing redemptive work he is engaging within us.

My prayer is that we will keep our hearts and minds on the truth established in Romans 6:12-14, and continually draw strength from the grace of God as we venture on this grand and often unpredictable journey of life.

Eric Gomez
Marriage & Family Therapist
Fulfilled Christian Counseling