Marriages are built on a foundation of trust, however time is the structure by which marital bonds are formed. Consider the earliest periods of a relationship where two individuals, driven by the power of attraction and adventure, ultimately prove their commitment, dedication and devotion to one another by their prioritization of time together. They make the time necessary to discuss their day, share their feelings for each other, and engage in fun and romantic activities. I call these initial attempts at bonding the “first things.”
Healthy marriages don’t just happen. They’re the outcome of principles spouses have consistently put in place over time. One of these essential principles is making time to communicate and explore what is taking place in their respective hearts and minds. This principle may seem overly simplistic, nevertheless its impact in helping build a vibrant marriage is profound.
“When we feel lost, and like our way is uncertain, we can find rest in the Lord. When our hearts are heavy, and we’re unsure how to move forward, we can find rest in the Lord. When it would be easy to sink into our frailty, we can find rest in the Lord. When decisions are required, and risks abound, we can proceed with courage and find rest in the Lord.”
Marriage is a beautiful endeavor when built upon the proper foundation. Premarital counseling is fundamental to properly building that foundation, and couples who invest their time, money and energy into the process will continuously reap the benefits of that decision over the course of time. This article outlines five essential benefits of premarital counseling.
Pornography is a bane to any society and it wreaks havoc in the lives of those who turn to it for pleasure and connection, or who seek to escape from the pains of daily life. Once caught in its grasp, getting free can feel like an impossible task, especially when you find yourself battling with it alone, hiding in secrecy and hoping no one will every find out that pornography has become a part of your life.
I know what this sense of impossibility and isolation feels like. I felt it for many years, during my own struggle with pornography.
When married couples argue, it's often a failed attempt at reaching for one another. A primary reason lies in the use of criticism. Husbands and wives may unknowingly assume that pointing out where and how their spouse has failed will somehow lead to a resolution of the core issues they're trying to address, or even bring them closer together somehow. Unfortunately, this approach tends to have the opposite effect.
Contrary to the popular notion, time doesn't heal all wounds. Rose Kennedy put it this way: "It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it is never gone." Her statement precisely illustrates what I see married couples experience when the trust between them is lost.
Pride is one of the greatest hinderances to us recognizing the value of other people. It creates an inner myopia constricting our vision to what we need, desire and believe is important while leading us to believe we have the right to exploit, harm and ignore others to achieve those aims. Moreover, it serves as the basis for justifying our actions, however destructive they may be, as being moral, legal, healthy and right.
How easy it would be today for a Christian man to lose sight of God and His Word, in a world consumed by notions of success and having more of the materialistic or natural pleasures found therein. From a secular standpoint, this is to be expected. However, these ideologies have infiltrated the Church, whereby what is often taught from the pulpit more readily aligns with these worldly notions, and strays from sound doctrine regarding the Gospel.
Premarital counseling serves as one of the most unique and important elements of a couples visionary journey, by helping them wade through the deep waters of their love, and learn to carefully traverse through the daunting peaks and gaping valleys of their differences. Taking such a journey is one that requires the help, knowledge, and wisdom of those who are skilled at helping others navigate through the joyous and difficult parts of such an endeavor.