Marriages are built on a foundation of trust, however time is the structure by which marital bonds are formed. Consider the earliest periods of a relationship where two individuals, driven by the power of attraction and adventure, ultimately prove their commitment, dedication and devotion to one another by their prioritization of time together. They make the time necessary to discuss their day, share their feelings for each other, and engage in fun and romantic activities. I call these initial attempts at bonding the “first things.”
Couples who enter premarital counseling do something remarkable. They reinforce their level of commitment to one another, while helping lay a solid foundation for a marriage that will last over the course of time. To be sure, it’s a decision steeped in maturity, which demonstrates their willingness to do the hard work needed to have a healthy relationship moving forward.
Healthy marriages don’t just happen. They’re the outcome of principles spouses have consistently put in place over time. One of these essential principles is making time to communicate and explore what is taking place in their respective hearts and minds. This principle may seem overly simplistic, nevertheless its impact in helping build a vibrant marriage is profound.
“When we feel lost, and like our way is uncertain, we can find rest in the Lord. When our hearts are heavy, and we’re unsure how to move forward, we can find rest in the Lord. When it would be easy to sink into our frailty, we can find rest in the Lord. When decisions are required, and risks abound, we can proceed with courage and find rest in the Lord.”
Marriage is a beautiful endeavor when built upon the proper foundation. Premarital counseling is fundamental to properly building that foundation, and couples who invest their time, money and energy into the process will continuously reap the benefits of that decision over the course of time. This article outlines five essential benefits of premarital counseling.
“One of the greatest gifts we will ever be able to offer our children is spending time with them. When we slow the pace of our lives to listen to their imaginative stories, play in the sandbox, read their favorite books, run together in the park and enjoy the power and simplicity of their prayers we offer them something priceless...our time, our presence and our love.” - Eric Gomez
Dear America, to say that pornography doesn't confuse the human soul and breed immense, guilt, shame and spiritual and relational trauma is misleading at best. It not only does these things on a micro level, it disturbs the collective conscience, leading a society to integrate views of sexuality that distort its meaning, purpose and pleasure. The more it infiltrates, the more it becomes an accepted phenomenon, gradually working away at damaging hearts and minds. This results in us living a confused society that is reeling from the traumatic effects of pornography, yet glamorizing it and selling it to the masses.
The more I work with couples and families, the more it becomes evident how tenderness creates a foundation for healing, change and open conversation. When we approach those we love in a caring manner, we can help diffuse points of conflict and establish a needed sense of safety which fortifies the emotional bonds between us.
The last few months have been rife with news headlines reporting on numerous allegations of sexual misconduct by notable male figures in the realm of Hollywood and the political sphere. What does all of this mean? My mind is immediately drawn to the sense these allegations put on display what our American culture has been reticent to acknowledge:"We've treated human sexuality too lightly and are reaping the effects."
Fight the New Drug recently posted a video of 5 celebrities sharing their experiences with porn. What these celebrities had to say was right on, and I hope they will continue to publicly address this issue.
Pornography is a bane to any society and it wreaks havoc in the lives of those who turn to it for pleasure and connection, or who seek to escape from the pains of daily life. Once caught in its grasp, getting free can feel like an impossible task, especially when you find yourself battling with it alone, hiding in secrecy and hoping no one will every find out that pornography has become a part of your life.
I know what this sense of impossibility and isolation feels like. I felt it for many years, during my own struggle with pornography.