There are moments when our lives, once filled with clarity and ambition, are slowed by the weightiness of uncertainty, distress, and a diminution of focus. This is a hard place to enter into, particularly when it is coupled with the loss of energy, the sense that everything around us is falling apart, and the complexity of the question, “Lord, what am I needing to do?” When emotionally pressed in this manner, we may easily find ourselves wondering why we are in such a position.
Though we never fully obtain or comprehend the answers to the question of why, in this case I believe one of the answers has to do with our soul being weary and needing rest from the unending task of giving of ourselves to the demanding responsibilities and stressors of life. Our soul, disillusioned, finds itself panicking and desperately grasping for life, searching for a way of escape to freedom.
It is impossible to study Scripture and not recognize the various stories of men and women who knew this place of darkness well. Joseph, Hannah, King David, the woman with the issue of blood, and the Apostle Paul and many others were well acquainted with sorrow. They grasped many times for God in prayer, and in certain cases literally, in the midst of their great inner or physical turmoil. Furthermore, Christ himself cried out to God the Father in his aloneness and indescribable suffering. In Christ, God himself, takes upon himself the nature of humanity and becomes acquainted with our frailty.
“For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things just as we are, yet without sin.” - Hebrews 5:15
These examples, everything they went through, and the broader narrative of Scripture itself speak to God’s understanding of his creation, the complexity of our humanity, and our innate need to find our soul satisfied and filled with what is good:
“For He has satisfied the thirsty soul, and the hungry soul He has filled with what is good.” - Psalm 107:9
What I am writing about is not far from me. I have recently found my heart, my soul, heavy and filled with uncertainty and disillusionment, pondering the question of why and grasping for renewal and relief. Life became dark, yet in the midst of this great and eery shadow of darkness, God continued to show himself present and central to all that is unfolding in my life. One such demonstration of His presence, centrality, and grace provided the opportunity for my family and I to visit and experience the beautiful and awe-inspiring landscapes of Montana.
Driving around Flathead Lake, and later facing the towering mountains and frozen waters of Glacier National Monument, invigorated my mind and awakened something within me. Though our days in Montana were few, I can see how God used this time to remind me He is not far from me, that He knows what I am going through, that he is active in my life, and that I would be wise to remember this and to keep him as the centerpiece of my story.
Returning to Psalm 107:9, we are reminded of God’s readiness to hear and respond to us when we are broken and crying out for help. It further highlights that we are lost without Him, and like those in this beautiful narrative, we find are ultimate sense of stability in Him, for only He can truly satisfy and restore our soul. Moreover, know that you are not alone, for many of us have struggled and still wrestle with moments when life goes dark. This is why it is essential to not shame yourself for being in such a heavy place emotionally.
Honestly, I don’t think anyone is exempt from that place. But there is a difference between those who harbor their pain in silence, and those who courageously let others know and God know what they are experiencing without shame. My hope and prayer is that you will choose to be in this latter category, so that you may find yourself supported by others, and bolstered by the strength and provision of God when we seek him in the greatest moments of vulnerability. Yes, I do believe you will be revived and come to life again!
Eric Gomez
Marriage & Family Therapist
Fulfilled Christian Counseling